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ninigummysmile · 2 years ago

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𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 - 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞́

Summary: Your friend with benefits just can't hide the fact that she wants to be alone with you in the bedroom

Dom!Rosé x Sub!Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Warning: This story contains +18 content. It is not the responsibility of the author if minors read it.

Important: English is not my first language so, please, forgive me if there are any mistakes

Words: 1.936

Since the day before, when you and your friends were in the car on the way to the house on the beach, you noticed that Rosé was fucking you with her eyes.

You started to have a more intimate relationship 5 months ago. You decided you didn't want labels or anything serious and so you decided to just be friends with benefits.

It's not that you think your friends won't like knowing that you're together, but you prefer to keep it a secret and doing the hidden things gives you an extra turn on.

You did everything normally, from the time you arrived at the vacation house until the afternoon of the next day, pretending not to notice the signs she gave you. You want to be alone with her, you really want to, even more so after seeing the beautiful dress she wore on the walk you took in the morning, but you want to test how far she can go.

It's been two weeks since you did anything, so you want to see her lose control in front of everyone for yourself.

At the moment you are in the pool having fun with Lisa and Jisoo while you feel a piercing stare on your back. When you turn around, Rosé nods into the house and you pretend not to understand. The moment you see her incredulous expression and his desperate gestures showing that she wants to talk to you alone, you have a huge urge to laugh, but you hold back and go back to talking to the girls.

“Is everything okay with Rosie? She's been a little weird since yesterday” Lisa says leaning against the pool wall.

“She's quieter than usual. She is always so excited when we all travel together” Jisoo completes.

“I think she's just tired from the trip and because we woke up very early today for the walk” you try to sound nonchalant.

The girls nod their heads in understanding and exchange a look with which you know they have something in mind. Then you change the subject.

Ever since Rosé had seen you get into the car, her body had reacted to your mere presence and she could feel her intimate area throb with desire. She tried her best to keep her eyes on the road and scenery, but they continued to stare at you.

On the morning walk, she tried to keep her thoughts focused on other things and how much fun she should be having without worrying about anything else. And she enjoyed herself, not for her sake, but seeing you enjoy yourself made her enjoy herself too.

When she saw you step into the pool, it was like heat came over her and she felt like she couldn't take it anymore. With a risky attitude, she tried to get your attention in the water and show you how much she was wanting you, but once again you didn't seem to understand the signs. At the time she was angry that you just seemed to fail to understand how much her body wanted you all of a sudden, but like a snap, she got your game.

It may have seemed like it took her a long time to understand, but that time has only made her desire grow more and more and when the time finally comes, she'll make you pay for making a fool of her.

Rosé loves being used by you in bed, what she feels with you she's never felt with anyone before. You simply know the weak points, know what to say at the right time and how to meet your body's every need.

She also knows how to make you weak in the knees, just her “please fuck me” look that at the same time says “I have you in the palm of my hand” makes an inexplicable ferocity rise in your chest.

And today is the day she will use the card with the words: your game was good, but you are mine and I am the one who says when the game is over.

You leave the bathroom wrapped in a towel and when you are about to close the bedroom door, Rosé stops you and enters the room with you. She quickly locks the door and turns you around.

“Do you think it’s cool to tease me like that?” she whispers in your ear.

“I don't know what you're talking about” your breath catches and you know by the tone in which she spoke that you've already lost your own game.

“Do not know? So I'll help you jog your memory”

She pushes you gently until your knees touch the bed, slowly her hands unhook the towel from your body letting it fall to the floor. You close your eyes and enjoy every single touch of her skin, you've missed it the last few days.

Rosé has you on all fours, with your face against the sheet and your ass pushed as high in the air as possible. She takes a minute to analyze how beautiful you look exposed like this, you are the sin she would commit every time and she would never feel guilty.

“Are you just going to watch?” you get her attention by wiggling your butt a little.

She swallows back a moan that was about to escape and smacks your ass. “Shut up. You teased me for almost two whole days and now I'm going to take my time”

The more you feel like you're being watched, the more your pussy drips with anticipation. You can't wait to release all the accumulated horny.

You're about to complain again when you feel a finger collect your wetness and work its way up to your clit and gently tap it.

A long moan of relief comes out of your mouth and your eyes roll back. “That's good, right? I've been wanting to touch you like this since yesterday and you're the one playing hard to get”

An apology is about to be uttered, but she puts more pressure on your bundle of nerves and your hips wiggle involuntarily.

You feel the weight of her body under yours as she whispers in your ear. “I tried to be alone with you a few times and you ignored me. Now I'm the one who decides if you're going to cum or if I just leave the bedroom and ignore you too”

Her hand leaves your pussy and you whine. You feel movement behind you and deduce that she is removing her clothes.

Unexpectedly, your pussy contracts and you want to cry at the delicious sensation and heat when you feel her slap your intimate area. At the same time that you want her to continue hitting you, the contact doesn't seem to be enough and you roll your hips in a silent request that she touch you.

“What you want?” her inquisitive tone gives you chills.

“Touch me, please” you whimper.

“But I'm touching you. Just say what you want, depending on how you beg, maybe I'll give you what you want”

You've never been in this position before, begging. You've asked and it's been attended, you've never had to beg for something in bed, and seeing your friend have that power over you in such a vulnerable moment makes butterflies in your stomach flutter harder than ever.

“Please fuck me, give me your fingers, your tongue, anything, but touch me right, please…”

“Good girl. Of course you know how to beg, you love it when you ask me to do the same”

Sliding two fingers into your tight channel, you moan so sweetly that Rosé wants to give you everything you want and then some, but she has to control herself if she wants to make you pay for making a fool of her.

You feel so good and her fingers are doing such a great job that your orgasm builds quickly.

Rosé brings her face closer to your ass and licks your arsehole. You moan loudly and your legs start to shake, when it seems like nothing can get better, with the other hand she goes back to stroking your clit.

“Fuck, this is so good” you moan so often and the sounds she is making in your intimate area are so absurd you feel like a porn star.

“Is it good, baby?” she inserts one more finger and speeds it up into your pussy.

“It's very good, I'm going to cum”

“I know, I feel you grabbing my fingers”

When she sees that you are going to reach the maximum point of pleasure, she stops her movements.

“Don't stop, I was so close!”

“I know, but like I said, today you have to beg”

Swallowing your pride and with an immense desire to come, you say “Let me come, please, I really want to. You fuck me so good, I promise not to tease you like that anymore, just let me come”

“Very well, you did very well. I'll let you come”

After permission, she returns with the movements, fucking three fingers in your pussy, the other hand stroking your clit and her tongue fucking your ass.

Nothing compares to the pleasure you are feeling, you want to scream, cry and laugh with such bliss.

Feeling your orgasm approaching again, she stops once more. She waits for you to calm down and repeats the same process again.

She does this twice more and you feel a little irritation inside you at being denied orgasm so many times.

When you think about making her stop and cum on your own, she says “Now you can really cum, cum nice for me, I want to see that pussy cum hard”

And that's what makes you finally come, her movements combined with her words make your entire body shiver and your throat call her name over and over again.

It's the most intense orgasm you've ever had, small electrical currents are felt through your body and small kisses are placed on your back.

“How are you feeling?”

“Amazing” you reply weakly with a smile on your face.

You turn and lie on your back on the mattress, Rosé kisses you on the mouth and when you separate, you see her waist moving involuntarily.

“Let me make it up to you” you sit up and kiss her one more time.

She takes your place on the mattress and you kneel between her legs, kissing her entire body and getting to one of your favorite parts.

“I promise I won't be mean like you and I'll let you come” she laughs like you just said the most absurd thing in the world.

“It was you who started it, I just gave the change”

“You started giving me those looks, barely able to hide how much you wanted me”

“Shut up and suck me” she says fondly.

“Saw? You're mean” rolling her eyes she guides your head down to her soaking pussy.

You take your time with her, doing whatever you know she likes, but from teasing you so much and seeing the beautiful sight of you between her legs, she doesn't last long.

You feel your head being held between her thighs as you help her orgasm.

Going back to lie down next to her, you catch your breath and tiredness takes over your bodies.

“Next time you look at me the way you looked at me in the car, I'm going to fuck you right away, no matter where we are. I swear I almost came just from that look” she laughs and come close to cuddle you.

#rosé park #park chaeyoung #bp rosé #kpop smut #blackpink #rosé smut #blackpink smut #ninigummysmilesmut #rosé x reader

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t-the-ring-master · 4 months ago

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Funny things that happened to me, my sister, and our best friend in “Escape the backrooms.”

Literally just stuff we did and said while playing. We still are working through it and are on some kind of level on the hotel I think. We hate the dogs.

Okay keywords/names.

Me T: Sword

My sister C: Coco

Our best friend(we’ll call her A I guess): Corgi

Contains spoilers to the game probably.

Level 0: looking for the latter. We all spawn in different places and are using proximity can’t.

Sword: Marco! Marco! MARCO LOSERS!

Corgi: I got the latter!

Sword: *screams bloody murder.*

Level 0: crossing the holed floor to get to the vent. Both Corgi and Coco fell.

Sword: I’m making it.

Coco: she’s not gonna make it.

Sword: I’m making it!

Corgi: she might actually make it.

Sword: I made it! *falls the very second I get there.*

Corgi: she didn’t make it.

Sword: *screams in Spanish because English just didn’t feel right to convey my rage.*

Level 2 (the parking garage): the three girls try to make it past a skin stealer

Coco: there’s a skin stealer.

Corgi: *completely ignores her and gets killed.*

Sword: welp… at least we know what they do now.

Level 2: Skin stealer tries to hit up a couple of girls after murdering their friend/sister

Sword: *sees Coco get killed*

Corgi: I think Coco got killed.

Sword: yeah I saw it

Skin stealer: hey!

Sword: no.

Skin stealer: *literally goes to the window Corgi is watching from* hey.

Corgi: no.

Level 3(?): another version of the parking garage but you need to find a random door to get to the next level. The three girls are in a small room talking and trying to figure out what to do.

Corgi: okay, so one of us needs to go out.

Coco: *is glitched out and watching through the door* yeah he’s gone so we should be good.

Sword: I’ll run and lead him off.

Corgi: *Opens the door and the skin stealer is right there.*

Skin stealer: *Kills everyone and leaves Coco alive. Whom is still standing surrounded by Corgi and Sword’s dead bodies and not even crouching.*

Coco: OH MY GOD!

Skin stealer: *looks her dead in the eyes* hey. *Runs out.*

Coco: wow.

Sword: *in the chat* My man needs to learn how to pick up girls better, because this ain’t it.

Lost track of levels but the one where there’s generators and the weird dogs are there: the girls are on the final three generators.

Coco: *is already dead and is looking at a map for Sword and corgi.*

Corgi: okay, I’m good with the flash light! As long as I don’t die we should be good!

Sword: cool, watch out for the-

Corgi: *walks into the electrified water.*

Sword:…. So about the “as long as I don’t die-“

Still in the dog level (this level took us about 4 weeks to finish oh my god we hated it.): Coco is dead, Corgi and sword finally got the final generator and have to make their way back to the main gate.

Corgi: Final room! We’re gonna make it!

Sword: awesome, just don’t die on me. Keep your flash light on the dog so I can get through the door and lead you-

Corgi: *messes up and gets killed.*

Sword: CORGI! *Starts panicking and somehow manages to get to the main gate after closing the door.*

Sword: I HATE BACKROOMS!

(I managed to make it, I had no clue if more dogs would come so I just sprinted screaming and freaking out -partly in Spanish- because I was now by myself. Did not forgive A for that for a while lol.)

That’s all I can remember for right now. I’ll probably write a little burb about this sometime also more stuff we did/said. We are finally a little ahead in the game but the level we are on got both dogs and skin stealers so we all avoiding like the plague at the moment. I might even do a lethal company for what might happen if the 3 of us played it. (We all want it but don’t got that gamer money and spent it on backrooms 😔)

You all might get some other blurbs of us when we play other games as well, because it’s always chaos. Anyways, bye my darling readers! I gave up on level numbers so fast 💀.

#not my best work #gaming #escape the backrooms #the backrooms #blurb #meme #quotes #chaotic trio #OC?#Skin stealer backrooms #backroom dogs #backrooms level #funny stuff #the skinstealers really liked hitting on us for some reason #they really liked C for some reason #we always make C go try and rizz them up

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stoopid-turtle · 1 year ago

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Hey loving your blog so far , am a new turtle just recently watched the untamed with my best friend. I'm 100% convinced they were definitely a thing during filming even now I still believe they are still together. My bestie on the other hand doesn't think they were anything more than friends. I tried my best to convince her but she thinks I falling to separate the actor's from their roles they were playing. My question to you is that do you ever sometimes think us turtles overthink too much or misinterpret what was going on between them ? Forgive my grammar English isn't my first language

Hi there! (Your English is perfectly fine!)

Yeah, I do think turtles overthink some things. There's a lot on YouTube that falls into this category, tbh. I can see how it happens. With all the bts, it feels like its own show that we can pore over, slow down, watch from different angles, decipher the TRUTH from it to reveal that bjyxszd.

But the bts aren't scripted. While they're endlessly rewatched by us, they were one moment in time for the guys. One moment in a long, exhausting day of work. Stuff we may think of as being intentional and meaningful may just as easily be random, off-the-cuff, and ultimately meaningless. Think about jobs you've worked where you get bored and tired during a long day. If you're like me, you and a coworker/friend will start talking nonsense to each other to get through it.

One friend/coworker and I made dinosaur noises at each other between taking calls in a call center. Yeah, idgi either. And because I'm a flirty bisexual, we'd make lewd gestures and kissy faces at each other sometimes for fun. She's straight, so it wasn't serious. I am aware that this dynamic is different between guys than between girls (in the US. I can't speak to China.), so I'm not saying that what happened between gg and dd is like me and my friend. Just to show that...sometimes stuff just gets weird. I wasn't nursing a secret crush on my friend or anything. It was just random time-wasting.

So yeah, I do think some stuff is misinterpreted. As I've noted, we see very little of what was happening bts, and there was a lot going on outside of whatever was happening between gg and dd. It's inevitable that some stuff will be misinterpreted.

This is why it took a while for me to come around to bjyxszd. And I resisted HARD. I'm skeptical by nature and I'm double-skeptical of things that sound too good to be true (like that a popular BL couple was played by actors who actually fell in love and are now together).

But at the same time, I came around. It took me spending many hours reading, watching, trying to translate, etc. Even then, I had to write out a novel in tumblr posts to lay out my thoughts to establish to myself that I'm not crazy on this. Like you, I'm 100% convinced that they were an item during filming.

So I was able to get past the stuff I think is a bit of a stretch to believe in it anyway. Now, it just means I smile at the stuff that does seem meaningful to me, and leave the other stuff for those that enjoy it. I don't want to single out any particular thing that I think isn't as significant as some people think it is, bc I don't want to ruin anyone else's fun. We're all turtles so regardless of what path we took or what convinced us, we're in the same boat. There's no point squabbling over the details.

Especially with the bts, which happened years ago at this point. Odds are, even gg and dd don't remember the context of any one clip at this point. So the TRUTH is impossible to know completely. It can be frustrating if you're like me and dislike ambiguity and uncertainty, but we're all in this pit together. We just have to enjoy what we've gotten and what we continue to get.

I'll also just say, don't stress too much about convincing your friend. I know it's frustrating when you want to squee about something but your bf isn't into it, but people tend to dig in their heels when someone tries to convince them of anything. There's also no need to do so. BJYXSZD regardless of if people believe in it or not. Find some other turtles and do your squeeing with them and when with your bestie, focus on what things you do share with them.

#asks #yizhan #bjyx

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youredreamingofroo · 10 months ago

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I'm finally doing it. 100 OC questions with Roo.

-> 100 OC questions by the-moon-dust-writings

under the cut to save yall from a lengthy dash - also spaced it all out so its easier to read mainly cuz im dyslexic and its impossible to read tumblr text half the time 💀

also if there's anything that's unfinished or illegible, im really sorry, its 1 AM and my eyes are starting to go cross-eyed 😭😭😭

1. How do they present themselves to others? ▷ Roo tends to completely shut off any form of his real self when initially meeting people, he fears coming off as weird to others, however as he gets to know people more and gets closer, his mask slowly fades. In general, he presents himself as tight and sometimes stingy and/or jumpy (to lesser known people), or he'll present himself as silly, loose and able to laugh, and better at communicating (to more well known people).

2. Do they like animals?

▷ He absolutely LOVES animals, he loves just being in proximity of them and literally wishes he could take any and all animals he sees home (the lovely cuddly ones anyways LMAOOO).

3. How do they dress? ▷ He dresses like he just fucking got out of bed most of the time. 4. How many languages do they know?

▷ 2- technically, He's fluent in english and knows very little swedish (he's trying).

5. How big is their family? ▷ Just to avoid me going off on an INCREDIBLY draining journey, I'm going to list off only immediate family: He has two parents, Reese and Virginia He has one immediate sister, Jordynn He has three half siblings, Devan, Deliahna and Juniper Devan and Deliahna's Father (Sort of Roo's Step/Half-Dad???) is named Noah and Juniper's Father (also sort of Roo's Step/Half-Dad?????) is named Mateo Roo has a nephew named Evan and a Niece named Josey (Both Jordynns) and he has a Brother in Law named Sean (Jordynn's husband). 6. What is their purpose in the story? ▷ Roo has no purpose, he's intended to just be a character, he's intended to be a character that I do my best to develop as almost real, he will never be real, of course, but I like to treat as though he is, additionally he's meant to show growth, and just letting characters grow and develop flaws, if you read/saw his Roo-seum post, you'd have seen just how different he was 10 years ago RT (Roo's timeline). I mean, 10 years ago RT, he was literally homophobic, and now hes VERY gay. I never intended to make roo grow as much as he has and at the end of the day, hes just a persona who was lucky enough and interesting enough to become his own character. 7. Do they know how to fight? ▷ LMFAO No. 8. What is their back story? ▷ Not typing all that, you can find his backstory (Roo-seum) on the Roo page of my blog. 9. Why is their name, their name? ▷ From a literal sense (why I chose his name), I initially chose Roo as his name, why is that his name? I dont remember. I remember I wanted to also give him a real name, and funnily enough, I REALLY like/d Harvey from SDV, and I LOVE the name Harvey its really cute, so I gave it to Roo. From a lore sense (why Virginia chose his name), when Virginia had Roo, she didn't really GAF what she named him, she was still mourning Reese's death, and she just needed a name to give Roo, and was reminded of when Reese and Her were thinking of boy and girl names, Heather? No, it's a boy. Heath? ...Uhh.. No. Melody? Still a boy. Arthur? That's a silly name (no offense to any Arthurs out there).... Harvey... It was a name that had Reese grinning from ear to ear, She'd never seen him smile that big for a name... besides her own, it was the perfect remnant of Reese. 10. Do they have any nick names? ▷ Yes. Roo. In canon, his siblings call him Harv or Rooey (like kangaroo and joey???.... LMAO), his mom used to call him Havvy as a kid/baby, but now he hates that nickname and sometimes Virginia tries to use it to get him to forgive her for the way she treated him, although he never budges. Some joke nicknames I have given him, is Rookie pookie and if I'm ever making a genderbent Roo I call him "Roo-ella", all of which are not canon names in HIS universe, but are canon names in other universe.

11. Do they have a romantic interest? ▷ uhhhh yes and no, it's complicated, he's only now realizing his feelings for a certain someone. 12. How do they cope with struggles? ▷ he cries, and he vents, he doesnt really know how to cope (in a healthy manner, like seeking therapy or doing stuff to calm him down). 13. Do they have anyone they can lean on? ▷ Yessirrr, He's got Rylan, a friend of his that I STILL need to introduce............ He also has his siblings. 14. How do they react to someone dying? ▷ ???? In sheer horror?? I'd assume he probably would be 1000x more devastated than the average human though cuz he hasn't properly experienced a loss of a loved one (like actual death loss, not like a family member leaving thats a WHOLE different story). 15. Can you name 5 personality traits they have? ▷ Introverted extrovert ("thats just an ambivert!" hes INCREDIBLY introverted, until/unless he gets to know someone who really clicks with him, at which point he becomes super extroverted, and they HAVE to click with him, otherwise he remains relatively introverted, and I do not see that fitting into the ambivert definition) Insecure (in a sense that he doubts a lot of his decisions) Overthinker Very oblivious A daydreamer. 16. How did they become a character? ▷ I don't want to keep explaining this, but in short, he's a persona that is also separately an OC. 17. Do they get along with others? ▷ He's often called charismatic cause hes such an enjoyable person to talk to, he often thinks people dont like talking to him, but thats only because he never fucking talks to people and usually only talks to someone when they initiate conversation. But yes, he does get along with others, even if he denies it. 18. What flaws do they have? ▷ Can't cope in a healthy manner, bad at initiating conversation, mega procrastinator, not super good at emotional control and often isolates himself without letting anybody know, making everybody worried, especially considering his isolation track record. 19. How do they influence the story? ▷ N/A idk cuz his life is the story and i mean like, what he does influences the story LMFAO. 20. What do they look like? ▷ We all know by now but:

21. What are their hobbies? ▷ He likes to game, and as introverted as he can be, he likes to go out to places even if he's not gonna buy something, he likes to take walks, and he likes to just laze around, and ponder. 22. What are their ticks? ▷ Idk he doesn't really have any out of the ordinary ticks, yk, like, he hates homophobic people? and transphobic ppl? So... yea. 23. Do they like children? ▷ No. 24. How do they react to being around wild animals? ▷ He gets super SUPER nervous, but at the same time bubbles with joy cause he loves animals and wants to touch the animal, except hes fucking terrified of getting killed and ends up, of course, not touching said animal. 25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work? ▷ He just wouldn't do the prank to begin with tbh, he's a little bitch like 😭😭 26. Do they have any survival skills? ▷ HAH Nope. 27. Are they more book smart or street smart? ▷ Idk, He's self-taught most of the things he knows, but I guess book smart? 28. How do they get out of a difficult situation? ▷ Roo doesn't even know how to cope in a difficult situation, he's just gonna panic and run around like that one spongebob gif of all the little spongebobs running around with fire everywhere iykyk. 29. Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want? ▷ No- hello?? LMFAO. 30. What music do they enjoy? ▷ Honest to God, he enjoys whatever music I enjoy, not saying this out of laziness, I mean like he, as a character, would genuinely just enjoy the music I enjoy. Although I will say, he'd definitely prefer more somber-esque songs.

31. How do they overcome obstacles? ▷ He just... idk, overcomes them, eventually tho cuz he's a procrastinator (as someone who doesnt know how I overcome my own obstacles, I dont know how to describe overcoming obstacles so this is a difficult question). 32. When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break? ▷ When Roo is faced with a difficult decision, he freezes, or I guess in this case "breaks," he can't really handle the pressure of having to make big decisions and may even just subconsciously/stupidly answer (which is prominent during the Reo sub-plot). 33. Do they have any special powers? ▷ Nope. 34. How do they change throughout the story? ▷ Another situation where I point you towards the Roo-seum and also say that his story IS the story. 35. Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit? ▷ Yes. Him and Rylan are VERY close, they met when Roo was attending College 36. How is their family life? ▷ Pretty fucking messy, you can find pretty much most of your answers in the respective posts of his siblings introduction posts. He fucking hates his Mom for leaving him, however there's two sides to this as Virginia was initially expecting to be caring for Roo with Reese, and didnt expect Reese to die so suddenly and so soon before the birth, depression sucked the life out of her and she progressively became less and less willing to live (she's doing better now, but yeesh), So it wasn't her fault, however Roo still holds a bit of a vendetta just cause she left Jordynn to care for him when she [Jordynn] was 7 He LOVESSS his siblings, except for Juniper. Jordynn raised Roo, Roo has been an off and on translator for Devan (because he cant speak fluent english), and Deli treated Roo as... basically a father since Roo showed much more love and care to her than Noah [her father] or Virginia, and he also got rid of her bullies (not in THAT way, i mean like just got them to stop bullying her) He's a hit or miss with Juniper, as he hasn't heard incredible things about her, but is warming up to her as he learned that she was recovering from her bad habits. 37. Are they likable? ▷ I mean, yea. 38. Are they the hero, or anti-hero? ▷ neither, his story does not involve that kinda stuff LMFAO and even if it did, he'd be neither cuz he'd suck at BEING BOTH 😭. 39. Do they make questionable choices? ▷ All the damn time man, as I reveal certain tidbits of his life (especially with him and leo), you'll really see his questionable decisions come to fruition. 40. How do they become who they are? ▷ Explained in his Roo-seum post 😭😭

41. How was their childhood? ▷ Pretty shitty, because of his Mom, but got better as he was "properly" taken care of by Jordynn. 42. Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over? ▷ He used to be close to Hayden and He did something a little worse than screwed with him/screwed him over. 43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all? ▷ He's kind of like a sponge... I guess? While he may be uncomfortable in different or new situations/environments, he can adapt pretty well, although adapt doesn't necessarily mean comfortable for him, that just means he puts on a silly little autism mask and pretends to be comfortable. 44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar ▷ I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to share my sort of voice claim for Roo, which isn't even that clear cuz I haven't found someone with the perfect voice claim yet but: His voice is a mix of Danny Gonzalez (25%) and Kryoz (75%), with Mr. Click's accent (all of these are youtubers just as a heads up ahdbsj) In general tho, I'd say he's more soft-spoken, he does swear and does get vulgar, but its funny when he does it cuz his voice does not fit the shit that comes outta his mouth sometimes. 45. Are they opposed to violence? ▷ ...Yea?? 46. When is their birthday? ▷ 10/05/95. 47. Are they quick to judge? ▷ Yes, but he usually keeps it to himself, and his judgements are often proven right, but he still prefers not to say it aloud because he feels bad. 48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others? ▷ His condition, otherwise called Piametia (check the linked page if your confused), although its not prominent anymore, he does find it a bit embarrassing, even though people usually find it cool, he doesn't share that bit of his life since it reminds of him when he was bullied. 49. Do they act different around different people? ▷ Every person is another personality for him. 50. Do they enjoy the arts? ▷ Yes. He LOVES art, he wishes he could draw, but as much as he tries, he always ends up getting burnt out and not drawing for several months if not entire years (art [roo] imitates life [me]).

51. Do they like science? ▷ YES. He is SOOOOO obsessed with Science, had he been successful in college and continued his course, he, looking back on it, would've gone with a major in Science (he's flexible and literally would take any area of science except for maybe Entomology). 52. Are they more emotional or logical? ▷ Emotional for sure. 53. How do they deal with their emotions? ▷ He just lets it overcome him and honestly just waits for it to go away or until he forgets he was even feeling that emotion (in regards to negative emotions, for positive emotions, he tends to repress it a bit to not come off as overbearing, but sometimes his bucket of silliness overflows). 54. How do they cope with sadness? ▷ He doesn't. He just gets really sad, lets it consume him and waits for it to go away or until he gets distracted and forgets he was even sad to begin with. 55. What is something they care about? ▷ Probably his apartment, the placement of everything and all his stuff is literally sacred to him, and he hates it when people touches his stuff. 56. Would they die for anyone/anything? ▷ He'd die for his siblings (mayyyyybeee..... not Juniper tho), any day and any hour of the week. 57. What do they do when they are happy? ▷ Listens to music and/or goes out and does stuff/gets stuff done. 58. How would they come across to other characters? Examples- messy, lazy, childish, caring ect ▷ Depends on the character and their personality, but typically charismatic, childish, carefree and maybe even a little bit annoying, but also easy to get along with. 59. Do they have a phrase they use over and over? ▷ "your mom" 👏👏👏👏 60. In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle? ▷ Probably wherever his friends are, but if he doesn't have any friends with him, he's probably in the corners or on the side.

61. Are they comfortable being in a crowded room? ▷ God no. Maybe if he has a friend with him, but the flat answer is just absolutely not. 62. How do they relax? ▷ He likes to walk and just appreciate his surroundings, it's very quiet and somber(?) where he lives, and he views it as cozy where some people would say overgrown, taking in nature is, while cliche, very relaxing for him, otherwise he'll just listen to music or lay on his bed and just do nothing. 63. Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically? ▷ He left marks on Hayden physically and has never fucking regretted it and if anything wishes he left deeper marks. 64. Do they like to dance? ▷ Dancing makes Roo unbelievably uncomfortable, he tries to dance and always gets embarrassed with himself, so dancing is a NO. GO. Unless it's slow dancing and someone guides him. 65. How do they get around their environment? Examples - horses, bike, vehicle ▷ Bus, or just public transportation, he can't fucking drive. 66. What is their pet peeve(s)? ▷ Just your standard pet peeves idk. 67. Do they have a disability? ▷ No. 68. How do they react to getting flowers? ▷ He literally weeps, sobs, cries, and probably would fall to his knees and ball up. 69. Would they ever wear a flower crown? ▷ ABSOLUTELY (his ACNH AU version of himself used to wear a flower crown) 70. Do they like themselves? ▷ So-So, some days he does, some days he doesn't, it really depends on how depressed he is idk.

71. Who do they dislike? ▷ Hayden. 72. What is their motto? ▷ "Different doesn't mean wrong." Considering he literally grew up different from others and always being seen as "wrong," He's began living by that motto after his major depressive episode, and it's been slowly but surely working for him. 73. Do they have any markings on their body? ▷ No?? I mean, freckles I guess? 74. Have they ever been abused? ▷ Yes. Sexually. I will not elaborate further, that's for another post on another day. 75. What is their biggest fear? ▷ Having what happened to him (referring to the previous question) before, happen again. 76. What are their goals? ▷ Just be a cool little guy idk LMFAO. 77. How do they go about achieving their goals? ▷ By being a cool little guy (i dont know how to set goals if you couldnt tell). 78. Do they have a fight or flight response? ▷ He has flight and then immediately freeze. 79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves? ▷ Probably Deliahna, he loves her like no other. 80. How would they fair in zombie apocalypse? ▷ He would not fair in an apocalypse, he would be frozen in fear and balled up, and would never be able to un-ball himself (this is not counting AU versions of Roo, this is only applicable to CANON Roo).

81. Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant? ▷ Nope. 82. Are they good at mental math? ▷ Uhhhhh No. Not at all. Despite the fact that he's doing a lot better now, he's still bad at managing his own mental health, he tends to forget about self-care, like eating meals at proper times, and getting laundry done. 83. Do they get along with others? ▷ I feel like I answered this already, but yes he does, although he doesn't feel like it, thats mainly cuz he overthinks and assumes they just hate him. 84 Are they lazy? ▷ No, he's pretty active (surprising.) and is pretty stingy on the cleanliness of his apartment, especially after his MASSIVE strike of depression. 85. Are they self motivated? ▷ I'd say yes and no, it's hard to explain, but he's often motivated by himself, but being motivated by others will get himself to motivate himself even more if that makes sense. 86. How do they cope with anger? ▷ He physically releases the anger, usually by punching something, but if he can't punch something, he'll just let the rage boil inside of him til he blows over, he has poor anger control. 87. Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless? ▷ He has been in one situation where he's felt helpless, which was he was sexually assaulted. 88. Are they organized or messy? ▷ An interesting mix of both, his apartment is VERY cluttered but in a almost in a nice organized way? 89. Can they remember a lot of information at once? ▷ Not really, He'd get to pre-occupied trying to remember whats currently being said to him to remember what was initially said to him 90. What is their occupation? ▷ Whatever fucking job he can find LMFAO

91. Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them? ▷ The latter. He doesn't like it when people are scared of him, it actually makes him really sad. 92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? ▷ He would text Leo about how he truly feels about him. 93. How do they deal with stress? ▷ He doesn't. Stress often consumes him, and the only thing he really does to deal with stress is just... ignore it... or in some cases actually do the thing he needs to do to alleviate the stress (like turning something in) 94. Do they have a more submissive or dominate personality type? ▷ I don't know, look at this and tell me what you think.

95. Do they have a pet? ▷ His ass cannot afford to keep a pet, nor does his apartment complex allow him to own a pet (a big one anyways like a cat or dog) 96. Do they have a stash of weapons? ▷ wtf no 😭 97. Where do they live? Who do they live with? ▷ He lives in a small town with a couple of apartment complexes (idk the actual location, but Washington ig idk), and he lives in said apartment complexes, he does not live with anyone. 98. How do they calm themselves down? ▷ He cries and cries (or does whatever hes doing) until he gets distracted and forgets he was even upset to begin with. 99. Are they co-dependent? ▷ He relies on himself mostly and doesn't really find himself needing someone (at least in a co-dependent way?), mainly cuz he's always been single and hasn't had a partner (or friend) close enough to become co-dependent of them. 100. Are they a day, or night person? ▷ Night person for sure.

If you made it this far and would like to do this, feel free to tag me i LOVEEEE reading this of people's sims/ocs!!

#i initially tried to colorcode this but tumblr hates me and it was so wack #IntervootheRoo #100 and counting questions for Roo #Roo #100 oc questions #oc #my oc #oc interview #simblr #ts4 #ts4 simblr #sims 4 #sims 4 simblr #the sims 4

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 1 year ago

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Ok, if I was gonna write a Debbie ending here’s what I think might be interesting -

Franny gets a scholarship to a private school because Debbie notices her various talents…(I’m thinking maybe Art and English?) and goes to different schools to see what opportunities there are. She’s quickly offered a full scholarship.

Debbie turns down Heidi’s offer and is determined to focus on herself. She wants a fresh start but it’s not immediately obvious what this should be. (I’ve mentioned this before) she strikes a deal with Carl and Tipping to work at the Alibi with them. She takes day shifts so she can be there in the evenings for Franny. She finds she’s good at doing the books and ordering product, she gets some help with the math from Mickey. She has lots of ideas and I think it would have been cool if she had helped organise the anniversary party with Mickey. Her and Franny and Carl move in above the Alibi and make it a home.

Ultimately, she’s happy with her life and it’s all going well. One of the last scenes we see of her is when she gets a text from Sandy saying something like “missing you”. She takes a long look at it and it’s very ambiguous as to whether she’s going to reply or not. An open ending - life is good for Debbie.

calli!! i love this please forgive how late i am lol😭

i actually thought about that whole scholarship thing before, and i like what you said about it. i could see it being something art related, we learn that franny’s pretty artistic in s11 and also debbie was really artistic when she was younger (she sort of still is at the end, but i think she’s busy with her kid and work so she’s less artistic now). maybe she gets accepted into the school liam went to? i could kinda see something happening where franny struggles to make friends in her school because their parents won’t let them play with her (11x02) and they think she’s weird + amy and gemma are gone, so debbie tries to find a new, better school because again, franny’s talented, and also because she doesn’t want franny to be as lonely as she was growing up.

debbie 100% declines heidi’s offer. it pisses me off that people believe she wouldn’t because if you watch the scene and know her as a character you know that she isn’t going. i actually just started a fic about debbie in therapy, so i totally agree with her trying to focus on/better herself. because jesus christ, s11 fucks her up. i love the idea of debbie helping carl and officer tipping with the alibi, i could see it happening. i personally think she’d stick with her welding/her business, but bartending could definitely be a side gig for her. she’d enjoy it (plus she is infamously horrible at dealing with change, and since she grew up around the alibi, seeing it gone would fuck her up and she wouldn’t want to let it go). i think that they keep the house post-s11 for numerous reasons, but if they were to move out, the space above the alibi would be a cool place for them to live.

i wrote a fic about something like what you said with sandy and debbie, but it’s currently on hiatus, however i love the idea of some sort of ending with sandy and debbie. i would be satisfied if they weren’t back together, but at least them getting back together wasn’t off the table. honestly, if sandy showed up to the anniversary party (she should have- she literally walked mickey downn the isle!) and we got like one frame of debbie and sandy talking i’d be satisfied. that’s all i’d need and i’d be okay with how they ended her story. well, maybe not ok… but not as angry as i am. i really just wish debbie the best because john wells put my girl through constant hell in all 134 episodes and she deserves some happiness. i loved hearing your thoughts on this, calli! ❤️

#do you mind if i take some inspiration from the franny going to a private school thing for a fic??#but seriously i love this #she was given one of the shittiest fucking endings (along with lip)#shameless #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #sandy milkovich #heidi shameless

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maryellencarter · 8 months ago

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1. haha no

2. Probably Leia

3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA let's say there are a surprising number of choices I don't regret

4. Duh, who isn't on this bitch of a website

5. I has a Leia

6. Painlessly and after having done as much fun shit as possible

7. Strawberry cheese danish

8. Soccer. A little baseball but I don't run well enough.

9. Yup

10. Huh. Longer ago than I realize. I'm always *ready* to fight but it hasn't been necessary in many years

11. I like many people. If the question is "do you have a crush on someone", no

12. 60+, for my sins. There's a point where you get paranoid hallucinations keeping you awake even further

13. Oh yeah, I contain multitudes

14. So many people

15. No. Pets, like children, are too much of a responsibility for me. I like them if their humans will take them away again

16. Sleep deprived. I forgot to charge my CPAP battery and the nightclub across the street is on its usual Saturday night backbeat

17. Have not made out at all

18. I would like them to stay away from me but I'm as scared of hurting them as I am of them hurting me

19. I honestly don't know. I'd miss so many friendships if I did anything different. Causality is weird

20. I have not snogged someone, at least if I understand the term properly (open-mouth kiss?)

21. Be sleep deprived. And hopefully get back to my food stamps application

22. No. I am not psychologically able to be a good parent.

23. None currently. I got my earlobes pierced once but they never healed properly

24. Oh, English by a country mile. Spelling, grammar, analysis, writing, you name it.

25. Yeah

26. Sleep. Also for the temperature to stop getting so cold I have to break out the electric blanket

27. Great question. He probably thought I did? I think it was just his ego. He's obviously over it

28. Not technically, that I know of. Leia has other datemates but we agreed to that up front, and she doesn't have anyone else in my role. And the best we can figure, John dumped his previous ex mere hours before propositioning me, so not *technically* cheating?

29. Oh, probably. Hopefully. He deserved it

30. The difficulty of doing stuff "in bed" comfortably when your bed is a reclined driver's seat of a car

31. She says she does 🥰

32. Blue

33. BWAHAHAHAHA being fair i fucking earned them

34. I don't remember dreams much since I lost my job and don't have to get up on an alarm anymore. I think it was a stress dream about what if my new phone broke

35. Define "in front of". I last cried in a conversation with Leia, but it was over text. Generally I can't cry in front of people unless I'm so overloaded with stress that I shouldn't even *be* around people

36. Yep, right up until I snap and it's zero chances ever again

37. I have a near-eidetic memory and a deeply ingrained aversion to the ways forgiveness gets demanded of victims. I will take option three, "hit the bricks"

38. Christ, it better fucking not be. I deserve better than this

39. I was 36

40. Yeah

41. ... questions 41 through 50 appear to be missing, huh

51. Hard to choose, but Panera mac and cheese is right up there

52. No, and anybody who tries that shit on me in person can get cornered into a trauma-dump that won't end until I lose my voice

53. Turned on my CPAP machine

54. Really depends on the definition of cheating, and also whether you're talking about in relationships or on tests. There are plenty of people to whom any nonmonogamy is cheating

55. No. I'm too softhearted

56. Dear lord, I lost count by the time I was three. This is why I'm kind of baffled that it's been so long

57. Strongly depends on your definition. True as in faithful? As in one-and-only? As in at-first-sight? Something else?

58. "October's bright blue weather"

59. Hell yes. I missed it so much when I lived out Southwest

60. Not for legal purposes, but I'd like to have a handfasting or similar ceremony someday if we can ever afford it. I get jealous when my friends get married because I want to also have a day that's all about how much we love each other. And a really fancy dress

61. When Leia does, sure. Or a Southerner or drag queen who can pull it off. Random old men hitting on me, no

62. Lots of things. Music. Sunshine. Thunderstorms. Knitting. Geology. My shows and blorbos. Leia

63. Already have done and will again

64. Not clear on the question. If she was here it would be very easy for me to kiss her. But she is not here, and it would be more difficult for other people to kiss her

65. My best... look, opposite *sex* is a complicated enough concept when I'm technically intersex... but if you go to "best friend of the opposite AGAB", I think I only have three or four friends at most who fit the description? And my first thought is the one I've known the longest, who... I don't think does relationships? He certainly doesn't talk about them. So I just go sort of brain-broken out of the starting gate and do not have an answer. I suppose for argument's sake we'd discuss it like grown adults, as we have other things?

66. This quiz has gone weirdly heterosexual, huh. Same definitions as before, same friend has seen (and encouraged) me being on my bullshit for what has to be about fourteen years now, it'd have to be something pretty stiff to override that

67. I have absolutely no fucking idea? I mean, I was talking to Logan at the beginning of this quiz, he dropped by to poke me about being too attached to my regrets because that's one of his things. But he's fictionary and also in my head

68. That really depends on how you define deep. Maybe Kat?

69. I'd better, I have one ^_^ I've always been really against the concept of soulmates, because what if you never find them? Any relationship can work if both parties put in the effort. And yet... here she is, exactly what I wanted from the time I knew I wanted anything, exactly who I knew was missing and ached to find. I never used to want to believe in reincarnation because my life was so miserable that any other incarnation would have been preferable, but now I hope I find her in every life

70. Yeah, but she'd kick my ass for it 😘 I have to go on living and enjoy life, even if I lose her. That'll be infinitely harder. (I don't think I could write again. That or I'd go back to writing 500-word depression vignettes)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

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undertalesyafiqah12 · 3 months ago

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Soo...

This is very related to Gaster Gang series.

Well... This is because that I'm actually working on the LWGG revamp series.

If you don't know, I'm a creator of Living with Gaster Gang, the Gacha Life/Club series (yes, the same gacha rainbow girl who made a make no sense series and ooc Gaster Gang personalities). And maybe some of you thought that I was probably quit Gacha considering how messed up Gacha community are.

The thing, I can't say that I'm quit or not. It's just I wanted to make it, but motivation just out for a moment then had it before lost motivation again.

When I wanted to make the revamp, I just plan to do it, but I was... Let's just say I'm too obsessed with another fandom that made me less motivation. Yet, Gaster Gang still in my heart.

I tried my best to actually make one, yet I was busy with school and now college.

But now that I'm still had motivation to make the another revamp again. This time with actual personality of Gaster Gang and the OC of mine who's going to had a revamp (and brand new name and backstory).

I admit that thinking of the story I made before the revamp was too ridiculous, too confusing, too boring and even make no sense. (Let's be real rn, Wingding being OC's father when he can't even take care of himself? The others are accepted the fact that they're adopting brothers of OC? A 14 year old suddenly had a revenge of the girl around her age for some reason? The soliders try to kidnapped innocent girl just bc of the 14 year old princess that suddenly took over the country? And most importantly, their age grows as I grew? Yeah... I get it.)

Well, I know that my 13 year old doesn't know what was she's doing as she doesn't know Tumblr yet. And even though she did, she's just ignore it and saying it's her "AU".

Making an AU might be an excuses, but as I grew up and knew some things on the internet, let's just say it's weird to think right now as I grow up.

Well... As for now, I'm remaking the new Gaster Gang on Wattpad. But I'm also planning to post on Tumblr and Discord before making it to Gacha Life 2.

And for that, here's the sneak peak that I made:

Well... Do you recognize the lines? Bc it's from Bunny's comics that I decided to put it on the Epilogue of the story.

Ehem... I know I'm supposed to ask permission to Bunnymuse. Soo...

{@bun-bunmuse I know you might not read it. But can I have a permission for using your Gasters and use your comics to make it like a storyline for the stories. And @phaunicier, also permission to use Maestro since they'll be in the series too. I'll credit when I post it on Wattpad and stuff.}

But yeah, thanks for reading my confession for it. I know there's barely any Gaster Gang fans who actually watch it, but I promise that I revamp it to be better. Also, forgive my English when I type it.

#gaster gang #gastergang #making fanmade stories on my old fanfic #as well as I confess for this #I was like 13 when I made LWGG #I grow to be better though #I was not mature enough to actually understand and make it without hesitation #Grew up to like Gaster as my own adoptive father for some reason

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keenregine · 11 months ago

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A Tale of Two Harry's lol

Trying to back track like I always do, January of 2023. Another year, another 365 days of trial and errors (mostly errors, my pessimist self tells me).

Being in a long-distance relationship suck, because number 1. It's 'long-distance'. 2. I have no other reasons to think of. But I'd say we're managing well. No big fights, no big misunderstanding that can't be solved within the day.

No massive Facebook drama. We feel like we're too old for that sh*t. I'm hoping in the nearest future, this predicament of us being an 'LDR' couple will come to an end. But honestly, it doesn't feel as difficult the way it was before, especially now that we're near to each other. I believe I made that point very clear before. 1 hour flight away is such a breeze, but no flight at all would be the dream.

So anyways, I went to Lyon, France to visit Alex. With his field of work, he gets the opportunity to travel places, that means me too. I've been to Paris 2019, pre CoVid time. Now, I'm glad I get to see Lyon. France has indeed redeemed itself on my perspective (yet it's only the 2nd city I saw of France, I'm trying to make jokes here). Quite the contrary to Paris, Lyon has less rubbish, less drunk people. And although they're not very welcoming (which I'm very much used to), at least they will try their best to speak English to a foreign looking person like me asking where I could find a type C to iPhone cord charger. Plus, I love the countryside-side-but-not-really vibes to it. Let me explain, even though Lyon is geographically small and not highly urbanized. Massive known shops can be seen everywhere, I would even say it has the best options of products that I haven't seen anywhere else. And at the same time, side by side local shops of the most expected French products are also there, but in a tiny, secluded version. The Airbnb we stayed in, is somewhat weird but in a way, Passing through the door, you will step into a narrow 2-person capacity elevator, I can't imagine how one can bring heavy groceries in there or appliances. There's a choice to use the stairs which is cemented, reminds me of stairs in churches, dark and roughly rendered, it adds up to the already cold temperature coming from the outside. And there's the museum, situated in the center is the Lyon, is the Museum of Fine Arts where I finally saw The Great Flood painting. I think I spent nearly 15 minutes just staring at this beauty, and the rest well I lost count. There are other museums to see but we haven't got much time. It's important that I get to ride their transports, the train, buses, we even tried the public scooter (we learned so much from our Barcelona experience), and little did I know they have a tram. This steep tram leads to another town in Lyon, forgive me I forgot what it's called but the main thing we intended to see is the Roman Lugdunum Theatre. I don't really want to describe this (I realize I'm bad at it as you can see), and there you can appreciate how beautiful this ruin is, plus the history it has. I was in a trance imagining what it's like living there before. I hope I get to see more of these in future, it is comforting how they preserve this historically significant places over the years, especially during the war. It just sat there, and survived.

Most of the year I was ill. I had Covid again (which is the worst one, I literally thought I would die there and then), and had flu atleast three times. I guess this was just me adjusting to this cruel cold place. In between those times, all I could do is go to work, the usual cycle. In April, we get to see Jo Koy, he was just fantastic. He's given us our money's worth sitting near front. We plan to see him again in his next show(s). And the midst of searching houses online, when the universe really wants to make it happen, I swear it will happen. Few days prior I was crazily searching decent houses online. The very next day, a colleague of mine randomly asked me if I was 'looking for a house', she was presenting their one-bedroom bungalow flat which was super cute and cozy. As I said, it was the perfect timing. When we first went to see the house, Alex and I immediately fell in love with it and right away said yes. I had to leave my old place, and in that time no one in any of my housemates seen me off. Or even sent me a message of good luck, goodbye or see you around, nothing. *one tear drop But well, I won't hold a grudge and just move along. But here I am mentioning it. lol If it wasn't for Alex the whole process of moving will be four times as hard, he arrange all the things, made sure everything is in order. Alex is too nice that sometimes I feel like I have to balance it, but he won't budge. My colleague who was moving out, have so much stuffs that it took them days and many rounds to completely clear everything out (ours only took one go because of how organized we did it), but Alex helped them all through out. especially with the heavy lifting , throwing out old furniture, and still volunteering to do other things. When everything was done, he thought of things needed for our new house, thought of arrangement in the living room. Even he though he doesn't like folding clothes, he helped me with it and actually did more than I do. He would let me do things I like, such as hammering nails just because I enjoy it and using the screwdriver, and the others he'll finish. I understand it gives off the impression that I'm the useless one here . Well, I do important things sometimes like vacuuming, it's fun. He also does the cooking and prefers to do the dishes after, he would let me carry on sitting on the couch and watch tv, read or scroll on my phone. And still, I have the guts to be mad at him for just anything. tsk tsk Women.

It may seem like we're living together all this time. But not actually, we just had the opportunity visiting each other frequently and we're lucky for that. I was alone in the summer doing the usual boring things. And oh, I went to see Harry Styles out of bliss. When I first came in the UK, I would always listen to his songs. I'm not a fan of One Direction during their peak, not once ever. His solo songs are for me my guilty pleasure, it's kind of stupid that I don't want anybody else to know I'm quite obsessed with him just because I hate joining the bandwagon, I'm pretentious like that. But in all honestly, I just legitimately enjoy his music and he's one of the many artists whom I pleasurably listen to the entire album top to bottom, even until now, no joke. I went alone in his concert in Wembley which is filled with white people, I don't know why is this relevant. It's not 'unusual' that I would go alone if you know me well. The whole time, I swear to God I was just standing there singing out loud and dancing, and because it's a sudden decision, I regret not bringing a pink feather boa or wore a pink glittery hat. I wore my staple black on black outfit.

I'm pretty sure I didn't mention before. Visiting the Harry Potter Studios was of course one of the musts-see places once I arrive in the UK. I met an old college friend who's also a big 'HP ' fan, without having second thoughts, I went to the studio for the second time, no regrets. lol I missed my friend and we reminisced our college times, drunk and fun times but still thrived. Summer season is the best time to travel anywhere, but weather is just so unpredictable here that even in summer you can't be 100% sure. We arrived there bright and sunny as hell. mid day turned cloudy and by afternoon it rained hard, did I see this on the weather app, no. I went to Bath with my colleagues, it was of course no surprise historic. Same with Lyon, the Roman Bath was beautifully preserved to its core and make you feel like you're a part of an important history. And also, you'll realize how the Roman conquered pretty much everywhere in the world leaving their marks. There's this one juicy information I came across, that they just copied their 'ideas' from those who invented it first, flourished them and presented it in the entire world as theirs. What a cheeky bunch, and now they're known as the brilliant minds. I want to say more but I might be haunted by Julius Cesar's soul in my sleep. Goodnight, it might be a very long wait, but good things are coming. (:

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whoops-thats-on-fire · 1 year ago

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Your children will also, be super fucking bitter and resent you, as one of those children. My brain really does not grok with languages, and I have poured so much fucking time into trying fruitlessly to learn Spanish. I will never forgive my father for not teaching me Spanish when I was a baby. I'm already separated a lot from my heritage, as white-passing as I am, and that fucking gulf just makes it worse.

I never really had a conversation with my abuelo (grandfather, for those who can't be assed to google). He used to speak English, but as he aged his mental faculties declined and he used it less and less after he retired, so that by the time I was forming memories, he no longer spoke it. The best he ever managed that I recall was a very weird Spanglish. And my Spanish was never very good and still isn't. I didn't start learning it until middle school when I could actually choose the language I learned. So if we wanted to interact I'd have to go through my dad to translate both ways. He died my junior year of highschool, before either of us had been able to say a sentence directly to the other.

And now my abuelita is fading, her English diminished by sitting unused. I'm better, I can sorta understand the vibe, even if I don't usually catch the whole of a sentence, but I'm still far from fluent.

I'm not terribly likely to get a chance to visit the country of my father's birth, to see the family he left behind, or connect with any of them after my abuelita dies. And all I can think is - I could have had that chance. If I'd learned earlier. I'm not certain I really could have tried harder.

For the love of god if your native language is different from the majority language of the country you’re living in don’t raise your baby speaking the local language. Either have each parent speak to them in a different language or only speak your native language at home. The kid will be okay. Get your native language in their head. You may think you’re helping them in the long term giving them the local language but no. When they’re an adult they’ll wonder why you never taught them your language. They can and will learn the local language in school. They’ll be okay. Produce more bilingual children. They are good for society.

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thedavenportdiaries · 2 years ago

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What have you been through and how has it changed you?

#1: Jan. 13th, 2013

I don’t think that a 13-year-old me could have ever anticipated the aftermath of coming forward and sharing my story. I couldn’t have foreseen betrayal or predicted court-mandated therapy sessions or mentally gaslighting myself into thinking that maybe it wasn’t real. I couldn’t have seen the guilt I felt in tearing my family apart coming or the CPS worker pulling me from my 7th grade English class to assess my home situation coming even if I had tried to. That’s the thing about these “flashbulb memories”, those events that you’ve “been through” that come to shape the duration of the life you live- they live in your fucking blindspot. And then you go to merge lanes, you make a decision without anticipating their presence- and they rear-end you. When you’re young and you’re forced to acknowledge the realities of life before you have even gotten the chance to discover a sense of identity, it’s life altering. In being dragged into the adult realm, I had many lessons that I had no choice but to attend. I learned that you can’t wear jeans to court, that civility can be achieved as two people that hate one another sit side by side in a 1000 sqft room. I learned that sometimes sharing the same blood doesn’t mean we share the same heart, or the same mind. That you cannot rationalize with people that are irrational, that you can live every single day wanting to die but feeling guilt about the prospective death my family members would have to deal with. I learned what the depths of depression felt like, how to lie to your therapist about cutting yourself. I learned what it means to have mommy issues. But going through this also taught me what recovery could look like, the lengths that family will go to protect you, that forgiveness can only be genuine when you have first reached acceptance. This is singlehandedly what drove me to want to help others, to have such empathy for other people experiencing pain and ultimately what drove me to pursue nursing as a career. In having to experience betrayal in the form of a mother’s love, my desire to be a mother someday arose from within me. Coming forward provided me with safety, and it allowed me to grow up in a place of stability. It allowed my sisters to maintain a relationship with their father. It allowed me to have the opportunity to pick myself back up with the major love and support of my friends and my family. It caused my mind to mature, to see the bigger picture of things sooner and to learn the ways of life quicker. Who the fuck knows where I would be if I hadn’t had this experience marked off on my bingo card.

#2: March 25th, 2021

Getting kicked out of school, in hindsight, is one of the best things that could have happened to me. Here I was- a 21-year-old girl who had a long-term relationship that was my supposed forever, in my dream nursing school thinking that I wanted to work as a psych nurse, no longer having to work at In-N-Out, living the life that I at 16 had wanted so badly. And it was like in a second, with a single final email, that weird scratchy movie noise rang out and I woke up and was just met with a harsh new reality. My dream school had reminded me that I was just another number, my dream boy reminded me that there were “people that are dying of cancer” when I sat on the phone and cried to him about how depressed and devastated I was about my circumstance. I took myself back to In-N-Out and was thankfully taken back. I learned what it was like to have to pay rent and bills on my own, I got my CNA license. I figured out what it meant to be grateful for the things that I have, as they can be taken away at any given moment. I got hired at an oncology infusion center and learned what it meant to have a calling to a certain profession. I learned what it meant to bond with patients, to care for them at their weakest and walk with them through their last few days of life. I met the Mako’s, I met the team at the clinic. I was accepted back into school and have met so many amazing people. I was humbled by life, reminded that it is dynamic and unfair, but also extremely consistent and karmic. I have learned what it means to find it in me, to pick myself off of the floor of that bathtub, turn the shower on, and continue forward. I am so fucking grateful that I got kicked out of school. Better plans were in store for me.

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weirdsht · 3 years ago

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Creterion . Cassiopeia - SAGAU

a/n: I tried writing something longer but I only managed to do one and a half pages. Also tried writing dialogues but idfk how that went. If anyone has any critique pls just say so I think I need it. Also I'm trying to sort out my blog, it's so messy so I'm gonna focus on that first but my inbox will still be open.

Warnings: hints of kidnapping, hints of yandere (let me know if there’s anything I should add here)

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Any form of interaction toward the post is appreciated <333

This is a series but it can be read as a stand alone

prev . next

masterlist

It’s weird waking up in an unfamiliar place when you’re so sure you slept in your room the night before. It’s also pretty weird that the room seems to be filled with luxuries. The weirdest part were the people surrounding you, as if watching your every breath. Doesn’t help the fact that said people were just supposed to be fictional characters of the game you play.

You pinched yourself making sure that you aren’t dreaming. This action caused them to be alert. “Be careful, your grace, you mustn't hurt yourself.” thoughts of this whole thing being a dream or a prank was thrown out of the window when you heard Zhongli’s voice. “What’s happening? Why am I here?” After you bombarded them with questions the Vaga Mundo and the Chief Alchemist proceed to usher everyone out of the room. They knew this would happen and were fully prepared for your questions or whatever reaction you may have.

The information spilling from their lips was too much for you. It’s hard to believe that this whole world was real and it was created just for you. “We thought that you being here would finally fulfill this world’s purpose” Albedo told you while they were explaining. This doesn't make sense. Why was it made for you? Didn’t Mihoyo create the game? There’s so many questions you wanted to ask but you figured you needed some time to process everything first. “Your grace we know that this is too much. We beg your forgiveness for this abrupt setting, so if you have any more questions feel free to ask any of us.” Zhongli finished the explanation.

Zhongli and Albedo patiently waited for you to think things through a bit. “I need some time to think about this whole thing. Please take care of me while I’m doing so.” It wasn’t like you had anything going on for you in your original world anyway so you decided to give it a try. Plus the blonde mentioned that he also brought some of your things when he ‘came to take you home’. You definitely need to go through that bag later to make sure Albedo brought the right chargers for the right gadgets.

“Of course, your safety and comfort will always be our priority”

Living in Teyvat is fun. Your days are mostly filled with leisure, they surprisingly let you do what you want. Of course there are some boundaries and conditions like you need someone to escort you and whatnot but you understand.

Trees are swaying, the wind is gentle, birds are singing, Teyvat is just so happy. At first you thought you were imagining things, or that you were getting used to things. After all, everything is so much more different when you see it with your own eyes compared to when you were looking at the world through a screen. The anemo archon and a wandering bard confirmed your suspicions though, Teyvat is indeed happy. All of that was because of you, because you are finally home safe and sound in their care. The world just can’t stop rejoicing.

Despite everything though, it’s hard getting used to some of the things in your new life, Like how many people are asking for your attention, just a mere glance from you will make their whole week. The riches they lavish and bathe you in is also shocking. “This is nothing, we just want to give you what you deserve, which is the best of the best!” Paimon reassures you when you ask while Traveler makes a side comment about how Paimon didn’t contribute anything.

Acolytes, that’s what they refer to the people who are in direct contact with you. You found out about this when you were ‘adventuring’, a very kind way to describe fish blasting, in the outskirts of Mondstadt with Klee.

You’d admit that your so-called acolytes can be overbearing at times, especially some of the archons. Sure they let you do almost everything you want, but it always has conditions that you have to meet. They also take care of everything, like literally everything. The things they do makes you feel incompetent and infantilized sometimes but you try to understand them. You get where they are coming from and they really do have your best interest in mind but sometimes you just miss doing some of the things you do back home without restraints.

Overall you find it fun. You still haven’t given them your final verdict but it’s fine. You can just Albedo to take you back if ever you want to go back home. Right?

#sagau #genshin sagau #genshin venti #zhongli #genshin albedo #albedo #paimon #genshin lumine #genshin aether #genshin cult au #cult genshin #self aware genshin #genshin impact #genshin fluff #cult au #Creterion . Sagau

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favorite-lie · 3 years ago

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some weird stuff I did

hello! I think you should read this post.. I’ll appreciate if you say something about these thoughts. also, please forgive me for my English. I talk less in this language lately, so I’m having some problems

sorry that I’m not active. I know I say it for months and months, I think almost a year passed since I was actually active. there are.. a lot of reasons for that, but the main one is that I feel that I don’t enjoy doing cc content anymore.. actually wait, let me put this different way: I still enjoy doing it, but I just have no idea what to do, which brings me down. a thing I hear a lot is “I stay in this fandom just because of you!” which is a very nice compliment, but it becomes senseless when you realize that you’re almost the only active artist in the whole fandom. maybe you’re here because of me, but why am I here? in this place, which is almost an empty space with no lore, some actual characters or at least some information.. and there is no one else who tries to fill this emptiness, just me, my headcannons, and you, who follows me and just sees what I do. a few years ago, when I just got back into castle crashers and started drawing stuff about it, there were some artists here who also drew content, which inspired me to do mine. but now, the only inspiration I have is.. nothing. if someone posts something, that happens like. ones a week in the best case, and it can be just a weird edit or a simple doodle. There is still one thing I can do though. It’s the comic, but I feel like I lost motivation to do it because of how bad stuff turned out when I posted the third chapter. It was a torture to work on it, as I didn’t like anything about it, and for hours work the only thing I received was one single review. even my own friends completely ignored the chapter and didn’t say much about it. besides, it doesn’t solve the problem of having no ideas what to draw, as most of the content I could do with it is spoilering. it’d be just a ton of spoilers for now, so I can’t draw some interesting comic-related stuff yet.

I don’t know if you remember, but I posted a thing about AUs. which seems like a great solution - if there is nothing to add to the original, just change the original into something else! it supposed to be a solution, but it didn’t work for me. I just..feel bad when I do all these AUs. I don’t want to go far from the original, I want it to be castle crashers still, I’m afraid to do these for some reason (in addition to this, I just think that all my AUs are quite weird or cringe, which is actually true, and you can’t deny that. I mean, I have a high school AU, you literally can’t deny that it’s cringe :D). I’m afraid to do all this weird stuff with someone else’s characters. It feels like I just took someone’s random OC and started developing it as if it was my own character

I think I mentioned it before, but now I’m much more focused on my characters. I don’t find any other fandoms interesting and I still want to make up stuff, so I thought that making new characters and doing stuff with them would help me. and it did! I really enjoy drawing my characters, developing the worlds and stuff, it brought back some life into my soul (seriously.. I felt empty before). however, I thought that you’re here only for the game, so I was afraid to post anything not related to it. and now I’m here, not doing any cc content but still thinking about y’all. as actually, I still like castle crashers and especially you guys (you all are some epic followers to have) and I still want to be here, but I don’t have anything to offer except for my characters... so, why I wrote this? I’m not really sure. I don’t even know if someone reads to this line. I’d say something like “hey, please tell me if you’re interested in my OCs” but I know that no matter what the answer will be, it probably won’t help me. despite of how I LOVE my characters, I’m afraid to share them in public. there is some information about them, at least in toyhouse or my artfight account, but it’s just a small piece of what I have in my head. I can’t say why I’m afraid, I just feel this way. sometimes I want to start posting about them, telling stories, the lore I’ve written.. but something inside stops me. I can’t explain that.. I don’t really know, what to do. I also want to delete all the stuff I posted here for some reason.. maybe because it feels like I stuck to it, and maybe if I delete it it’s gonna help me make a fresh start. I don’t know.. what should I do...? :[ ..I... have no idea...

#castle crashers #the abyss of doodles #evil wizard

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kim-bera · 3 years ago

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Broken Man

Hi ! So here is my first ever Chicago PD One shot.

So the last episode let me in a weird place. I had to write something so I get I should mention it contains some spoilers for 09x15.

I hope you'll like it. I apologise in advance for any mistake, English is not my native language.

It's filled with angst for Adam with an hopeful ending.

Please let me know what you think of it, I could write more for this fandom.

Bye guys.

Is Adam with you ?

No. Still not home ?

No and I can’t reach him.

Kevin shakes his head at the last text. His friends… They are complicated, a bit of buttheads but they also are the best thing for each other. They hurt as much as they love each other and it has to end. Now.

Going back to the district to track his best friend’s phone because he’s ghosting everyone is not his idea of a relaxing evening and god knows they all deserve a break. He can already feel the headache coming.

Is Adam with you ?

No. Still not home ?

No and I can’t reach him.

But coming up the stairs and finding Adam at his desk is a surprise. Maybe his relaxing evening is not dead yet.

“What are you doing here ?“ Adam looks surprised to see Kev back at work this late. He knows things with Celeste are complicated but still.

Found him, will call you later.

“Looking for you Bro. Kim is worried you’re not home yet. You’re ghosting us. And with what happened between the both of you, I have to say she’s not the only one worried.”

“No need. I’m fine. Just doing my job.” Adam looks back at his screen, closing himself to the world.

Great… It will be a nice conversation then.

“You’re not Adam, you barely talk if it’s not case related. You’re staying here at 10 when your family is waiting for you.”

“I don’t have a family anymore Kev.”

“Of course you do, she didn’t kicked you out, did she ? Did she tell you that it’s done ? That you’re not moving with them at the new place ? Or are you so hurt and blaming yourself that you think she did ? Because then why is she blowing up my phone since I got here ?” Kev is showing up his phone where all the text messages and missed calls from Kim appear since he told her he found Adam.

Adam looks up at Kev, dark bags under his eyes because yeah he’s exhausted, he misses his girls but no Kim has been clear that he doesn’t listen to her and so he’s taking a step back because after all it’s what she wanted a few weeks ago. What she told him. And so he listens to her.

“She told me Mak is her daughter, not ours so if I’m nothing to Mak, then why should I stay ? I don’t want to get my heart broken anymore, I can’t Kev. Already did that more than once with Kim and it hurts to get up again. So I’m listening to her, because trust me I will never forget those words. Every time I see her it’s all I can think about. And I know I almost got Makayla killed, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. What if we didn’t find her in time ? What if they truly were going to let her go at the drop and by killing Lennie I screwed that up. Mak deserves to have someone who can protect her, not put her in jeopardy. Every single time someone I love is in danger I make it worse, did it with Kim, with Mak, with my dad, with Tommy, even with Al, he was my mentor and look what happened to him, he got killed. I got our baby killed because I wasn’t fast enough. Ortiz is in jail. Hailey was abducted while we were together, whatever that was. And Kev, you should get away from me before I get you killed too. And I tried to go back to my place, just to find all those boxes ready to be picked up. So I’m here, I’m doing my job and you can’t ask me more than that right now.“

"Adam… "

"No. Please Kev. I’m doing my best here. Leave it alone. Mak is safe, back where she belongs and it’s all that matter. The rest is history."

"Okay, as you wish, but you need to sleep, so go back there, don’t talk to Kim if you want to, but your kid needs you. When was the last time you saw her ? Because that little girl, she’s hurting too, and she needs her dad right now."

"Kev… One last time, let it go…" Adam breathes deeply and then "You know what ? I’m outta here. See you tomorrow."

"Wait ! Come to my place, I swear I won’t tell Kim you’re there and I won’t force you to talk if you don’t want to.”

“No thanks Kev. But you wanna do something for me ? Please go to Kim apartment and stay there for the night. Mak needs someone who will be able to protect her and her mom.”

“Yeah sure.”

And with that Adam left the district.

—————

“What do you mean he’s not coming Kev ? We need him, where is he ?”

“I don’t know Kim, he just left. He’s in a bad place. Blaming himself for everything and even more. He needs time. And space.”

“I’m worried about him, I know I hurt him but he’s Mak’s dad and my partner…”

“Is he really ? Because Kim you took back the fact she’s yours, to the both of you. He’s been with you 24/7 since you’ve been abducted, you relayed on him for months. He was with you at the courthouse and even before, did he ever let you go alone see your lawyer ? And instead of being united, you both lashed out at each other. But Kim I have to say, you hurt him, deeply and I don’t know if he’ll get over it. He told me he doesn’t have a family anymore. He doesn’t have any hope left. He loves you and that amazing little girl so much he doesn’t trust himself to be around you.”

Kim tears up at those words, unable to speak. Kev takes her in his arms when she finally breaks into full cries.

“It’s going to be okay Kim, you just need to talk to him, like really talk to him, lay all your cards on the table. I don’t know how it’ll end, but he needs and deserves the truth about what you want from him in the long run.”

“I kissed him. Before we got up to the apartment. He looked surprised but happy. I just told him we were keeping our kid and he took me in his arms and I just kissed him. Because I thought we could have our happy ending. I love him but I can’t deal with him ever leaving us again.”

“Kim… I love you but you’re so wrong. He never left you, you did. You’re the one who broke the engagement. And yes he accepted to push back the wedding but did you ask him why ? Because I listened to him pining for you for weeks if not months. He was terrified of not being enough, he would bring you the moon if you asked him. And then when you lost the baby, he was there, even if you didn’t see it. He never got to grieve properly you know.”

“I completely messed up, didn’t I ?”

“You both messed up, hence why you need to talk.”

Footsteps coming toward them ended that conversation.

“Mommy ? Uncle Kev ? Is Adam here ?” Mak looks hopeful but she sees Kim shake her head.

“No Queen M he’s not, he’s still at work. But he asked me to stay with you tonight.”

“I miss him.”

“I know. Come with us.”

Mak sandwiches herself between her mom and her uncle.

“I love when he cuddles me. He makes me feel safe every time. He hasn’t read me a bedtime story since… Did I do something wrong ? Is he mad at me ? Because I tried to hide when I heard them fighting with Gabby but I wasn’t fast enough.”

“No baby girl, you didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not mad at you. Adam is blaming himself for what happened to you. Because he loves you so much, it was terrifying for him. And for your mom. And for all of us. But I know he misses you.”

“Mom ? Can we go see him ? I need to tell him something.”

“Mak it’s late and while you don’t have school tomorrow, you need to sleep.”

“But mom, please ?”

—————

He found himself at the beach. The one where they take Mak on the week-end, where she finds all those sea-glasses, pilling into Kim pockets and his car. He used to have a very clean car, but now it’s full of kid books, snacks, clothes, sand and basically everything a kid could need on a travel. Kim used to laugh at him because he was so strict about all the stuff she kept in his car when they were together and now his car looks like a kid’s bedroom.

He hears a car in the distance and know it’s her. Kevin, I’m going to kill you.

Before he can compose himself and fully turn around he feels his little girl throwing herself at his legs. He’s barely bend down when Mak put her arms around his neck so he can fully embrace her. He missed her, how did she became his whole world so fast ? When they lost their baby he thought he would never get to feel what it’s like to love this much.

She’s so innocent and he’s so dark, how can she be near him and still be a happy little girl ?

“Are you done with work ? I tried to sleep but I missed you and then I heard mom and Uncle Kev talking. If you’re done you can go home !”

“Mak… I can’t go home right now.”

“Uncle Kev said something but I didn’t understand. I want you to go home with us, I’ve got new nails polish and we have to be careful because we can’t get some on the carpet again. And a new dancing show ! You could wear my tiara and I could show you what I learnt at dance !”

“I would love to, really, but I can’t. I know we didn’t spend much time together lately but you got your mom to show her all of that. I don’t know if I’ll stay with you much longer you know ?”

“But why ? Aren’t we moving to the big apartment anymore ? I know how I want to paint my new room and you’ll have to help me.”

Adam can’t help but chuckles at those words because damn that little girl will never take no as an answer and he’s not even sure he wants her to. Maybe all hope is not lost with her. Everything may be dead with Kim, but Mak… He would do anything for her, even do piggy back ride with his screwed shoulder which it has yet to be looked at.

“Come on let’s go back to your mom and get you to bed.”

“Only if you stay with me.” Mak gives him a big kiss on his cheek.

And at those words, Adam knows he’ll still move in with them if Kim let him.

They travel back to Kim’s car where she and Kev are standing, Mak already half-asleep on his back but still smiling at her mom because mission succeed.

He straps her in her booster seat, closes the door and turns around “Hmm. She wants me to put her to bed. If you are willing to let me to.” He never looks at her.

“Of course Adam, you know you don’t have to ask me. Come with us, let’s go home.”

“I’ll follow you back to your place.” There is no way he can be in the same car with her, he has to prepare himself to the confrontation he knows is coming.

————

Once in bed, Mak makes it her mission to keep Adam as long as she can in her bedroom, she fights sleep even tho she’s exhausted. She knows Adam will be gone when she wakes up. It’s been like that since they found her. He still sleeps there, he leaves all kind of notes on her bedside table for her to see when she’s awake. Pancakes will be ready to be re-heated in the kitchen but he’ll always be out of the door the minute she’s awake if not before. She misses him, she loves when he’s doing shenanigans with her just to bother Kim. He always makes her laugh when she scraps her knees or elbows or whatever limb she hurt so she won’t cry. She thinks of him as her dad, she never had one so she doesn’t completely know what it means in the everyday life but her friends are always talking about doing this and this with their dads and Adam does that too ! So maybe he could be her dad.

“Okay kiddo, nice try but you have to sleep now, it’s way too late for you to still be up !”

“I don’t want to sleep. I’m happy you’re here, I miss you. I’m sad when I can’t see you before school.”

“I don’t want you to be sad, I’m sorry I made you feel this way. I’m sorry for everything Mak.”

“It’s okay now you’re here. But can you stay with me til I fall asleep ?

“Sure. You know you can always ask us to stay with you right ?”

“Yeah, I know…”

“What is it Mak ?”

“I want to ask you something but I don’t know if it’s okay.”

“Mak, you can ask whatever you want, whenever you want. Always. I’ll always answer the best I can, I’ll never lie to you. Pinky swear. Remember when your mom got hurt, I told you what happened, right ?”

“Okay.” Mak sit up again in bed to look at Adam. “Are you mad at me ?”

“What ?! No Mak, I’m not. Why do you think that ?”

“Because I called Kim mom and I didn’t call you dad ?”

“Mak…”

“Because I want to but I don’t know you’re okay. We talked at school and my friends were telling me about what they did with their parents, I told them about the beach but they told you’re not my dad so it didn’t count.”

“Mak, I love you like my kid. No. Scratch that, you are my kid, calling me dad or Adam or whatever you want will never change that. But I would love for you to call me dad if you really want to. Nothing will make me happier. But never feel obligated to do it. It’s your decision.”

“Really ? So you’ll really be my dad ?”

“Yes Mak of course.”

Mak jumps at Adam neck who grunt from the impact. He really needs to get his shoulder be looked at because the pain only get worse with each passing day. He deserves to feel the pain but still, if it prevents him to take his little girl, his daughter in his arms, he’ll do whatever is necessary for it to heal completely.

“I love you Mak. So so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t find you faster. I was so scared for you and angry because you deserve the best, and I didn’t protect you like I should have.”

“No Adam stop. You did find her. We found her.”

Adam and Mak turn to see Kim standing against the door frame.

“Come hug with us mom !”

“Okay but you need to be sleep. Lay down.”

Mak does as asked and Kim and Adam lay beside her, forming a cocoon around their girl.

“ ‘night Mom, ‘night Dad.”

“Goodnight Mak.”

They stay like that until Mak is finally asleep and when they’re sure she won’t wake up, they get up slowly, Adam staying back a little to admire his sweet baby girl.

Getting out he finds Kev waiting for him in the hallway.

“Not too bad for someone with no family anymore.”

“I’m sorry Kev. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I really need to start thinking before talking.”

“It’s good bro, go talk to Kim, it’s the best thing to do right now. I’m going home so be nice to each other please.”

————

“We need to talk Adam.”

“I know. I’m just not sure how to explain myself.”

“Then let me start. I’m sorry Adam, for everything I said that day. She’s not my daughter, she’s ours. And I know I took that back, but I was desperate and you were right about the drop since the beginning. But I couldn’t take the risk. I don’t know what I would do if I lose her, or you. If it was anyone else I would have been the first to say to not pay, but Mak, she stole our hearts, didn’t she ?”

“That is sure... I can’t remember a second not loving her. And I think it’s what made me see red. She was kidnapped, because I didn’t protect her. Like I didn’t protect you. It was the same story again. And I couldn’t do it again. Wait to know if she was alive, if she was going to make it. Because I did it once, and I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest. Because then I was at home, with your daughter, hoping, praying she wasn’t going to lose her mom and I wasn’t going to lose my best friend. I couldn’t do it again. The pain was unbearable then, and it’s still now. I already failed you once, I wasn’t going to fail you twice. So I did what I always do, I go dark, and make some stupid decisions. I fought with Kev then, like physically fought with him and then with you…”

“But in the end she’s home, she’s safe. And I am too. You saved us. Both of us. You saved the Burgess girls.”

“My Burgess girls.”

“We’ll make it through it Adam, we have to, I don’t see a future where you’re not there beside me, watching our daughter grow up.”

“But not too fast please. I’m not ready to see her dating.”

“Please god no. Don’t break my heart.”

“She’s not allowed to date until she’s thirty of forty.”

“I don’t think we have to worry about that yet tho, she’s too enamored with her dad.”

“Yeah about that, if you disagree about it it’s okay I can talk to her.”

“Adam, look at me. She’s your daughter as much she’s mine. It feels so good to hear her call me mom, I would never that away from you because it felt good right ?”

“More than good actually. It was like the weight of the world got off my shoulders. Like I could breathe again. Because she’s not angry at me for what happened.”

“She’s a smart girl, she knows it wasn’t your fault. So no more leaving, you’re staying, and tomorrow we are going to talk the three of us. We’re going to go to therapy, individually and as a family. Because we all need to. Even you. You can’t keep feeling guilty about the past. He was the one responsible then, he’s dead and I don’t wanna know how, and Nia is responsible now. It never was your fault.”

Adam has to sit down, he needs to process all of this. Mak calling him Dad, Kim being sorry, realizing he may not be the curse he thinks he is. He doesn’t believe in fairytales, it won’t go away in the morning but Kim is right, they need to talk about all of this with someone.

“Where does it leave us ?”

Kim comes around to seat beside him.

“I don’t know Adam, but I know I don’t regret kissing you. I know I hurt you and I know we have a long way before thinking about dating, we have to heal but again there’s no future without you in it.”

Kim shows him her open hand, waiting for him to grab it, because the ball is in his court.

And when he grabs it, they both can finally breathe. It won’t be sunshine and rainbows from now on but they learnt communication is the key to their relationship.

“And also we are going to the doctor first thing tomorrow for your shoulder, we need you in shape, not in pain.”

Adams chuckles because yeah his Burgess girls can really make him do anything.

#ChicagoPD #One Chicago #Spoiler for last episode #Adam Ruzek #Kim Burgess #Kevin Atwater #Makayla Ward Burgess #Angst #Family #Hopeful ending #Burzek #Burgwater #Ruzwater #Burzekayla #burzek fic

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georgiapeach30513 · 3 years ago

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Ok so this is probably going to be long so I’d like to apologize in advance and also tell you English is not my first language so there might be some wrong grammar

I feel so sad for Iris. I am just like her, always the sweet and forgiving girl that everyone can rely on, everyone knows that she’s going to be the first to forgive anyone in case they make a mistake and they don’t really care if she said it’s ok but it’s not actually ok. The problem with people like us is that most of the time we forgive but don’t forget and move on, it keeps nagging us, it keeps hurting us and we’re all alone dealing with all this sadness and not having anyone to talk to because no one will understand because if we’re so understanding why are we still upset over something? It gets to the point where our feelings don’t get validated, no one will come up to us and ask us how we’re really feeling once they hurt us, they think a simple sorry is enough. It isn’t! We need time to heal!

We keep putting other people’s feeling over ours until we can’t take it anymore and we snap, hence why Iris still hasn’t forgiven Story and why she’s acting weird around Ransom. She feels like she is different from her siblings, she’s not actually a Drysdale, and god knows how long she has felt like an outsider to her family, like she’s bothering them, like she’s not supposed to be there. Right now, with everything that has happened with Story, she is probably thinking “what if had been me? What if I had been the one to go say all of those horrible things to my mom and then compare ransom to the man who was abusive towards her? Would they have forgiven me as quickly as they forgave her?” And she probably thinks they wouldn’t because she feels like she doesn’t truly belong. And the fact that Story was so dismissive of what Iris said about Andy having tried to kill her and her sister when they were babies is only weighting it more on her.

I hate the fact that everyone is pushing Iris to forgive Story so quickly. Just because they were able to, it doesn’t mean she has to do the same! Everyone process emotions in different ways and she needs time to heal. She needs all the time necessary to forgive, forget and move on. She has feelings too and just because Story was going trough shit it does not excuse the fact that she hurt Iris’s feelings and she has the right to not speak to her sister for as long as she needs to if she is aware of the fact that the situation isn’t good to her. And the fact that Ransom told her that she never visited the state anymore and she said it’s because of story just made me more sad because I remember all of the times people told me that I had disappeared simply because I stopped reaching out to them but a relationship goes both ways, why are they only waiting for Iris to go to them when they can go to her too?

They need to stop pushing her to mend her relationship with her sister and try to understand why she isn’t ready for that yet. If Iris is anything like myself (and I relate A LOT to her) she probably doesn’t allow herself to cry and vent to people about how she’s actually feeling, she only does it alone, and people mistake us being sad and hurt and not being able to move on from a certain situation for being petty annoying and a bitch.

Anyway. I hope going to therapy help Iris a lot, and I hope her family start to understand her and respect her feelings and actions and stop pushing her and arguing with her to do what they want her to do. Right now, I am all for Iris staying away from her family because they are hurting her more every time they tell her to forgive story, making her feel guilty from feeling hurt (not to mention her depression which makes all these feelings much worse) and she shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed for feeling this way.

Sorry again for writing such a long rant, but as I said before, I’ve been relating to Iris a lot and lately my mental health hasn’t been the best and I started to realize the most of the things that make me feel sad this days are hurtful things people did and said to me years ago that I just forgave quickly and never got the chance to talk about how they made me feel.

💙🥰🥺😘

First off nonnie I want to give you the biggest of virtual hugs EVER! I too, am very much like Iris. I'm quiet and forgiving to a fault. The problem with that is that constant forgiveness sometimes does wear on you. Forgiveness is fine, but sometimes people take advantage of the fact that you're forgiving.

Kitten being the same type of person just wants to be around her daughter and grand-daughter. We know Ransom is very oblivious to things, so he probably doesn't even know there's a problem, other than Iris doesn't want to be around Story.

Iris has always struggled with her identity and anxiety. Not that it's been mentioned, but Kitten sometimes wonders if having Frank as an uncle and not letting Iris know about who her real father is would have been a better option. It's something that is constantly thrown up in her face, and Andy was her uncle. You know Iris also has to think about the part that Frank played in the whole situation.

Iris is spending more time with her Pops, step mom, and siblings, and also with Uncle Airy. Let's not forget that Story used Beau, which is Iris's little brother. Iris is also dealing with fertility issues. She made herself believe that her then fiance and sister had a form of an affair. Let me make it clear James and Story have never and will never cross that line, but a woman suffering with PPD, her boyfriend just came home and is dealing with PTSD and he's refusing to touch her, of course she projected that.

But let's take another look at what Iris is going through when she's with her family.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

All Ransom Drysdale

Summary: Iris's thoughts

Pairings: Iris Drysdale Rogers X Frank Adler

Rating: Angst, can be triggering

Warnings: mentions of infertility, mentions of fertility treatment, mentions of Andy, mentions of Andy's abuse, threats against a baby, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.1K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Iris Drysdale Masterlist

"And the test was negative?" the doctor asks with a sorrowful look at Iris. She gets tears in her eyes but refuses to let them fall. With a solemn nod, Iris takes a chance to look at her. "Okay, we can do another round of treatments, or would you want to consider IVF or there's also surrogacy. "

Iris hates this. The first time around everything was easy. She denied the fact that she was pregnant. She felt the little flutters of Posie, and still wanted to believe she wasn't pregnant. This time around, she wants James with her, she wants to experience every part of pregnancy, and it still just won't work. "I'd like..."

"There's no wrong answer. I know you're getting tired of these treatments. Do you think you want to talk to your husband?"

Iris's lip starts to tremble, and she hates that a single tear that falls, wiping it away quickly with a sniffle, "Jamey, he...he would be okay with anything."

"I'm going to give you some pamphlets, you take your time in deciding what the right decision is. There's no rush."

She takes a deep breath before jumping off the exam table, her hand resting on her empty womb, and she can't help but wonder if maybe she is the problem. Andy wasn't able to get her mom pregnant, even though he had tried, so maybe she's the problem in this relationship.

_____________________________________________________________

Iris flips through her Pops' pictures of her and Aster when they were babies. You don't keep the photos that include Frank or Andy at the estate because they hurt too much. Too many bad memories associated with the man in some of the photos. Frank had even kept photos he knew were in fact Andy and you. "Who's this one?" Iris asks looking up at Frank.

Frank releases a deep sigh, wanting to just close the book. The older Iris got the more curious she got. They're painful memories for Frank too, but he uses them to remind him at one point, the two of you were in love. "That's Andy."

"Did he ever really love me?" after having Posie, Iris could never imagine someone not loving their kids. But then again she wasn't actually ever Andy's.

"I guess in the only way Andy knew how. He loved your mom in the most sick way. Loved controlling her. You and Aster were the easiest way to control both of us."

"He would've done it, wouldn't he?" Frank nods his head yes. There's not a moment that Andy had threatened the life of the girls that Frank doubted him. Not that he would ever say anything to Iris, but Andy was especially viscous with his threats concerning her. Frank knew the moment Iris was born, that she was his. When Andy finally seen her, he knew she was his or Frank's. Knowing that threatening the sweet Iris would hurt Frank like no other.

Iris the baby that always wanted to be held. The baby that was so sweet and loved her naps. But to hear Andy talk, Iris and Aster were crying brats. "You cried a lot with Andy. After you two were born, I spent more time with your mom. The crying stressed him out," Frank rolls his eyes flipping to another page of photos, all of them Andy with you and the kids. All of them he actually seems happy. His eyes beaming at you, while you smile down at your daughters.

"I didn't think you cried that much. But then again, your mom wasn't as stressed when I was around."

"You kept her alive."

"I kept her and my kids in therapy for life. There's a part of me that still considers you and Aster mine."

"I am," she finally looks up at her Pops with a sad smile. Turning the page to see more photos. "What about these?"

"Andy. Not all times with him were bad. He just manipulated his way to happy moments."

"Do you think mom ever loved him? Or was it always just you?"

Frank flips the album over a few pages, showing her a picture of him with you and the girls. Taking the picture out, he finds the happiest photo of you and Andy. "Can you tell a difference?" Iris studies the two pictures. Not having looked at them near as many times as Frank she doesn't see the small differences. "Look at her hands how tense they are with Andy. Even her body language, it's turned away from him. She's not looking at him, she's looking at you two. Her head is tilted away from him. This is just a photo, but your mom's body knew the difference. I think once Andy got her where he wanted her, she didn't truly love him."

"Do you ever wish she would have made it work with you?"

Frank returns the photo, and closes the album. Leaning back he relaxes on the couch. "So much of the first few years as Frank I wanted nothing more. I became pushy with my need to be with her, and because of that, I pushed her further away. Your mom and I could have made it work, but you know as well as I do, her heart belongs to Ransom. She might have been happy with me, but it's like they revolve around the other. They can argue, and make up within a few minutes. There's a lot of things I would do differently, and the main one is never allowing Andy in her life."

"How's Beau doing since..."

Frank rolls his eyes. If he had known all that was going on with Story he would have said something to you. Story's relationship with Carter was kept so private, he didn't know she had turned to Beau to try and forget. "He's heartbroken. Your brother has loved Story, about as long as she's loved Carter. He adores her. I think in time he'll be okay. He might even be okay that Story was his first."

"I'm being ridiculous aren't I?"

"I don't think so. People get over things in different ways, and different times. Do you think you're being ridiculous?" she shrugs her shoulders. Putting her hand down to the floor she looks for that tan and white ball of fluff, and as if knowing that she needs him his sweet face pops up in her eyesight.

"I think someone bringing up your family brought up a lot of feelings. You didn't ask to be brought into this world, just like you didn't get to choose your family. Your family doesn't make you who you are, Icy. Andy isn't you. In time Story will realize how messed up what she said is. And in time, your time, you will forgive her and move past this, okay?"

"Does the stubbornness come from you?" she looks up at him with a laugh.

"That is all Ransom Drysdale sweetheart."

Masterlist

#desperate lives #desperate lives au #desperate affairs #desperate affairs au #desperate verse #evanstan #evanstan verse #evanstanverse #DA AU #DA AU chat #DA AU ask #iris drysdale #story drysdale #andy barber #frank adler

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